Paths of Life

This past month has been trying in ever sense. Mental, emotional and physical, and spiritual limits have been tested to the fullest.

In life we find many paths leading to many different destinations. Sometimes the choices we make are rash. A fly by my seat of my pants kinda thing. Others are examined, picked apart and research is done.

I’m normally in this last category and think things to death.  This last month hasn’t really been that way. Old feelings, old habits and bad choices were the result.

That doesn’t mean I’m bad. Just like it doesn’t mean you are bad.  Those bad choices do have consequences, however we can turn to our Heavenly Father just like we can turn to our earthly family and find strength and hope when the fall-out hits. And trust me it will hit with a vengeance at times.


Psalms 27:14: Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

I struggle with this daily. I know there are others who do as well. Remember to think, feel and wait. God has a plan for us all if we wait. Choose your paths wisely. Pull on your support teams. Reach out in prayer.  Make your best efforts to be obedient and honest with family, friends, yourself and the Lord. Stay on God’s intended path in life.


Blessings to all.

Been ages since posted a blog sorry.  Been trying to deal with life……led me to question what has my life become in all honesty..  the answer doesn’t really thrill me.   Plugging through pain, work and sleep….somewhere in last 2- 3 months I’ve lost myself…it shames me to say that. Maybe could blame it on bipolar…depression…fibro… but won’t. I made choice to close self off yet again. Why…dunno …my moods somewhat regulated with help meds…pain too…Tylenol queen here. My real pain meds make me half dumb…depression can kiss my rear I have so much to be thankful for right now…I’ve beaten an addiction yet again, I maintaining weight, I sleep mostly, my guys are proud of me, I strong in own right….life is cruising…bills paid and camping season is upon us….looking forward to making friends…regulating life and enjoying the campfire….enjoy the simple pleasures In Life…we can all learn to grow from them. Memories made can never be taken away…I’ll still struggle to find new me but will always be brutally honest…My life is what is…loving that God understands that and that every baby step I take is step forward to glorious life. Wishing friends and family can find peace today.   I did when I talked to God….


Blessings to all

Should be writing Maggie right now since words just spilling out but eyes heavy and in pain yet again. Read article that says fibro comes from hands…dunno wth they talking about…how can hand nerves effect back, knees, chest, hips…think more research is in order…

What can we learn today? ?? This is the questions of the hour  for me right now…

My twins answered my questions honestly tonight. I’ve  frustrated them and Jim with my actions and behavior. For that I’m sorry.

Many times in the Bible it’s referenced “I will not leave you nor forsake you”  somewhere along the way I’ve forgotten that.

But what does that mean really??

It is quite simple really. God  wants you to lean on Him in everything. Anytime, any place, any situation. ..  simple right??…not always.

We are all prone to make bad choices. We are all prone to backslide on our journey.  But God’s love and grace can combat it all.  His word tells us we are never alone. Reach out to your support systems,reach out in prayer… are never alone.


Blessings to All

Life moves at whatever pace you let it.


When faced with challenges we either get run over by them or tackle them. I’ve recently been run over by one particular challenge. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m weak, it means I have given up on myself at that moment. This is not a good feeling. It brings so many mixed emotions and makes me question my self worth.  It was made crystal clear to me in the middle of a deep heartfelt prayer from a very special friend that I’m worth a lot to a lot of people. God understands my struggles but loves me anyway. My family, extended family and friends do too.  Remember you are never really alone.

Struggles we get through have made us into the people we are today. Maybe today you’re struggling too. Stop…say a prayer and see just what God has in store for you. Life is a continuous journey, nobody said  it would be easy but you can be thankful you woke today. You can be thankful you got dressed and were able to tend to something…it could be something as simple as saying hello to someone or brushing your teeth. Remember no matter what you are dealing with you have someone who loves you. Our heavenly father is always there even if you question that.    Take one day at a time and embrace life. You are important.

Sending prayers to those who will accept them. Taking prayers for anyone willing to give them up.


Blessings to All…

Only got half chapter done today in Maggie, book two of Alpa Trilogy.  Busting head and funny vision prevented more. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow night’s group should be good. Don’t really know if will have anything new since have four different projects started right now…geesh I need reality check on time management I guess. Started new Bible plan on you version and did read my daily Scriptures…this plus considering how unworthy of His love, I feel. I’m a screw up hands down but I can admit that freely because God loves me in all my struggles and failures as well as in all my strengths and victories. Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I forget that I’m His work in progress. I’ll never truly be a done work and I’m content with that, at least for today. Sending blessings and prayers to those that will have them, asking for few from those that aren’t afraid to pray…journal time…

Ramblings of a trying Christian


Anyone who knows me, knows I’ve struggled giving everything to God. I really don’t understand why deep down. I’m not smarter than God. I’m not in control of things like He is, I’m just me. I plug along and hope for the best. I’ve come to realize I’m never alone, even if it feels like it. I do have a strong support system but I have trouble reaching out. I do go to God in prayer for the major things but feel He can’t be bothered by those little ones. I’m trying hard to get out of that mindset. I want to be a better person than I was yesterday. I’m trying… some days I do well, others not so much. Maybe you’re in the same boat I am. Maybe you feel like you fail so bad daily that how can God forgive me and accept me for me.

Guess what… He does. His grace is enough to combat all the wrongs, all the mixed up feelings, all the slip ups. He loves us unconditionally and knows we are His works in progress. He never gives up hope that we will find our way back to His grand path. Sometimes that might mean a lot of baby steps and backslides but He never loses faith in us. He’s known your course from conception…which is really unfathomable if you think about it, but He has. Our choices and decisions mold us, teach us and help us grow. Some lessons take more than one major screw up to sink in…this is unfortunate but it is what it is. I know I’m not the only one that fails the same test repeatedly before learning. If we are honest with ourselves we find many things that fall into this category. Maybe it is finances. Maybe it is addictions. Maybe it is self doubt or any number of other things. They are all very personal and all very real. Don’t ever be afraid to just say. ” God, I’m a wreck, help me.”.

He hears and listens with His full heart and soul. Be patient to the best of your ability to wait on His timing. Everyone I know, including myself has said at least once “everything happens for a reason.”  I’m telling you that we don’t need to understand “why me”.  We need to understand “cause you need to learn to lean on Me”…

“With pain comes strength”… I  believe this so much it is tattooed on my body. I have it for fibro because I am a warrior but this applies to all aspects of life. So whether your pain is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual remember you face what you do to become strong.


Love, prayers and blessings to all.